“I like this skirt, I really do. But I wouldn’t wanna wear it. I feel comfortable in it. But like, I know some thirsty pervert or even the freaking Über driver is going to want to grope me – or even just do it – and, no. I’ll wear my jeans instead. I just don’t want to endanger myself.”
We’re in our homeroom class. I’m trying to find something to do when I spot Onthatile Langa, Alletta Mollo and Melisha Malebana at the back of the class, slapping high-fives and snapping their fingers, meaning that their conversation is popping. The 3 jovial ladies, Bo Mo’ghel, are pretty much going about their business when I join them. By this, I mean making incessant chatter about pretty much anything that comes to mind. Bless these souls.
I arrive at the table and they all shout Tshepaaaaaaaywhen I take a seat next to them. They make room for me, saying “Shem Tshepi, mo’ghel. O wa rona.” – Loosely translated to “you’re one of us” (the girls often say this, calling me girl whenever we meet.)
I ask them what they’ll be wearing for Friday’s casual day at school. Alletta says she wants to come in her sleek black dress from Zara. The girls agree with her, but then she retracts her statement.
“It’s nice. But then when I wear it, I know that some pervert will be looking at my ass. And that’s crazy, to be honest.”
I’m writing this down in my ringbinder notebook from Typo when I see their faces change.
“Is it serious? This disrespect towards girls and women?” I ask.
“Shem. That’s not even the whole thing. It happens every day. I hate it. I honestly feel super uncomfortable whenever I’m walking in a place with guys. I know that one of them is going to cat-call out something, and someone else is going to call another girl a bitch, whether it’s directly in their faces, or indirectly; on songs, where women don’t exist – only bitches. To be honest, there is zero respect for women nowadays. I legit don’t feel safe anymore.” Melisha stresses.
But she has a point. There’s no respect anymore for women anymore. We’ve lost all respect we’ve had (that is, if there was any at all) for them, and it’s crazy. Pretty despicable to be honest. The people who pretty much keep the world stable should be treated with respect, right?
Females have always been a major part of our lives. Sisters, Mothers. AboGogo too. And for people who have loved and taken care of us, they don’t deserve the treatment they’ve been getting. Since time immemorial, women have always been forced to settle for lower things. Jobs, Household activities and so forth.
“You got that Nine-To-Five, but baby so do I. So don’t be thinking I’ll be home and making apple pie.”
– Dear Future Husband, Meghan Trainor
Even in this day and age, women are still expected to stay home and do the cleaning, the cooking, the baby sitting and other menial household activities. And it’s honestly insane. I mean, women do want to be out on the job too, right? And Meghan Trainor was just one of the people who voiced their annoyance at that age old gender stereotype.
Even in the working industry, women are told they can’t be engineers or pilots. They are told that there’s no room for women in such industries. Hell, even if women and men had to do the same job, women would always be underpaid. According to statistics, women earn 64c for every $1 a man makes, which is blatant disrespect for women.
The constant disrespect goes even further than the cat-calling and the whistling. And if you think it’s disrespectful, these men go to the extent of groping and even raping ladies, under the idiotic belief that “Women were made for man, since k’dala man”, when in fact women could do without the abuse that is inflicted upon them. Every day, rape and abuse charges are laid, but due to the constant disrespect for women, these cases aren’t always taken seriously and more often than not, the cases are just thrown out of court. It’s no wonder these women abuse and rape statistics have gone through the roof.
The media also plays a very important role in this, with music videos showing half-nude ladies in hip-hop, further making them seem like mere objects that can be bought with money, and that have no relevance other than to satisfy the sexual needs of men. And how they rap about “yeah, she a fresh hoe.”
I can’t begin to emphasize how ladies are always body shamed by men for either not being “body dese” or too much of an “sdudla mafehlefehle”, just because they seek to find sexual pleasure from women.
However, it stretches further than that. Sometimes, there’s a lot of woman on woman disrespect, especially when it comes to body shaming, instead of building each other up as a whole. I spoke to Tanya, a friend of mine, who emphasized her disgust at woman-on-woman body shaming. Instead of edifying each other as fellow women, she says they tear each other down to uplift themselves. Catarina, another friend of mine touched on the same issue, saying that girls these days focus on having bigger booty or larger breasts and so on, and that it still goes on every day, shaming women because they’re too big or too small.
Altogether, this brings me to the conclusion that women aren’t necessarily treated the way they should be. I mean, women are most probably most definitely the driving force behind pretty much the whole world, and they aren’t deserving of all this harsh treatment.
It wouldn’t hurt to actually recognize women as humans. Actions such as cat-calling demean a woman, and this constant disrespect stretches out as far as rape and sexual assault, leaving lasting scars on these queens that we should be treating even better, instead of walking all over them. It’s time for men to stop citing religion and culture as platforms to justifying these despicable acts. Because apart from it being disrespectful, it could damage women, more than physically.
It’s really outrageous that women are disrespected. I mean, it’s time we start changing our attitude towards these powerhouses. These queens. It’s the 21st century. And so much has changed since the evolution of mankind, except how women are viewed and treated.
It’s time we start treating women better. Giving them the respect they deserve.
